Life in a northern town
1 Mar 1996
Right now I am higher than all of you. I am
above each and every one of you.
Okay, so I'm on a 737, but I've wanted to say that in a
newsletter, and this is the first one that I think I will fully write while in
the air. And now, it's time to welcome our newcomers: through my massive
network of connections and associates, I have received hundreds of stories and
rumors of the masses whining and complaining, "Why don't I receive BJR's
monthly masterpiece? After all, I have an email address. What makes
everyone else better than me?" If you're saying, "Hey, I never
really asked to get this damn thing," you'd be surprised to find out that
I'm also a mind reader and
I know your heart. Relax. You're with Uncle
Bryan now.
The free market is alive and well, as you can tell by the
fact that I am bringing back eight "Tasty Cake" Blueberry pies in my
carry-on, in exchange for having some Trilogy marketing materials sent to
Philadephia this week. I'm also carrying a new pair of glasses, and wearing new
contacts, after being nearly beaten to death by my opthamologist's assistant
when they discovered that I had knowingly been wearing a contact with a chip
missing from it for at least three months. I never said I wasn't a
masochist. (If you know any cute sadists...) I bought the pair of
glasses to relieve my
eyes on long days, and to make me look older when I needed
it for important presentations. Some people have said that instead of
looking "older," I look "dorky." The English language
is so flexible.
Anyway, I did get the chance to eat at "The
Saloon," a great restaurant in Phily, known for being packed with
Mafia. Damn cool. I could have written my own obituary by hitting
on any of the big-haired women sitting around me. I even heard the bartender say to an older guy who had just walked
in, "There was someone in here asking about you earlier on."
And then the Untouchables came in and starting killing everyone.
My life in Austin has not changed much, due to the fact that
I am still never there. I have moved the couch, as John Lilly pointed out
earlier this week, so my life is more dynamic than one might think, if they
never got to look at my couch on a week to week basis.
I watched E.R, last night for the first time in a month, and
it was an episode I have seen twice. But I'd like to say to all my
friends in med school, "keep it up", "we're counting on
you", and "you're crazy." I did not get to watch
"COPS in Russia," though. To all my friends in law school, "Why?",
"Why?", and "Please don't sue me."
I've been experimenting lately with "sustained, direct
eye contact with attractive members of the opposite sex." That's
right, no more quick looks or passive smiles, but not leering stares or
open-mouthed gawking either. Just a constant, piercing look that says,
"Hey." So far, the results have not been spectacular - mostly
they return puzzled looks that say, "Why is that guy looking at me?
Do I have mustard on my nose?"
Next month, I may try throwing "Tasty Cake" blueberry
pies at them.
BJR