We apologize for any actual information in this
newsletter
This BJR newsletter may come as a shock to several of you
because it may contain a large portion of actual news about BJR rather than his
adventures with Puff Daddy and BJR's involvement in the death of The Notorious
B.I.G. I apologize for anyone harmed by the meaningful content, or by
Coolio.
I'll take the horse and carriage for 500, Bob.
Many
of you have already heard the vicious rumor that am I engaged. Some of you
have pointed out that I have made several anti-marriage comments in the past and
even more of you have claimed that I have even used the words "never", "pigs
ear", or "locoisimo!" when talking about weddings. As to all those cries
of hypocrisy, ridicule, and smirking, I say 1) "No comment." and 2) "My
definition of 'pigs ear' does not involve 'pigs' or 'ears'."
But, I am
engaged, to Krista Fairbairn, who for some reason agreed to marry me and still
hasn't come to the realization that she is going to be marrying me. Please
don't mention it to her or she may come find me and correct her mistake.
Especially don't mention it to her parents. I've heard they drive
motorcycles, and are on the distribution list for this newsletter.
For
those of you with additional questions, the answers are : 1) October 3rd, 1999
2) in New Hampshire, and 3) "wildebeest".
The Frenchies
Our
time in Paris with Krista's family was great - I learned that the correct
response in French to any question phrased in French by me is "Please Speak
English. You are hurting my ears." Also, the baguettes (the young
women who work at the bakeries) did not think I was funny when I asked if they
had any French bread left. Au revoir les hippos.
Spaghetti de la
casa
Rome was chock full of cats. Here a cat, there a
cat. The pasta was great. The streets were dirty. The
colleseum is old. The Vatican is very Catholic. We escaped from
Rome, unscathed, even though Krista acted out the motion of shooting at machine
gun at a table of well dressed (mafia), older (godfatheresque), Italian men
(crime lords) who ate (planned the death of several French people) at the table
next to us. Cultural Note: No Italians consider "Ragu" a
funny response to "Prego".
Mr. Feliz Navidad, ladies and
gentlemen
I spent Christmas with my parents and sister's family in
Florida, and had the chance to spend some time with my three wonderful
nephews. Let's just say we should all wrestle and play with micromachines
more, and we'd all be a lot happier. Except when someone else takes your
micromachines or Uncle Bryan can't figure out how to get the submarine doors
open.
Off the Road Again
In just two days (Friday, January
22nd) I'm packing my bags and heading Southeast, and moving back to
Austin. While this means Krista and I may actually have to spend some time
together, it also means I'm opening a new Reactivity office in Austin.
Oodles of excitement.
Before I leave, I have some gifts I want to
give to some of you. Partially, I'd like to give some of you a token of my
friendship and how much I've enjoyed this year in the Bay Area. Mostly
though I need to get rid of some useless junk that I'll have to drive to
Goodwill. So please come collect your gifts before Friday.
Send
check or money order to: wild BJR relocation fund
While I don't have
a permanent address yet, you can get messages and regular mail to me at for at
least the next three months:
Voice Mail (work): 1 (512) 684
3231
8127 Mesa Drive, #B-206-344
Austin, TX 78759
Bryan