Thankful for the Yankees
25 Nov 2004
Thanksgiving Day


The following was written for Bill Heller, a longtime Yankee fan. Bill and I made a bet about the 2004 ALCS, Yankees (Bill) vs Red Sox (Bryan) where the loser had to give a concession speech praising the other team. Even though the Red Sox lost, I couldn't give up a chance to harass my good friend and Yankee fan. Below is my Thanksgiving dinner speech.

As the end of November approaches each year, each one of us must take stock of the things around us and ponder life's wonder and the gifts that we have been given. This year is no different. In the midst of everything in our world today, with our political turmoil, our wars abroad, and our collapsing moral values, I am thankful that the Yankees can't win a World Series.

But rather than thank the Yankees in a blanket fashion, let us recognize those who made this all possible. No other team had assembled an all-star lineup across the diamond. No other ballclub had paid top dollar to assemble a hitting machine like the 2004 Yankees. But no other pitching staff gave so generously in the last four games of the ALCS. Call them the Evil Empire, but they have big hearts. Big enough to lose four straight games after being up 3-0. Let us all learn from their generosity.

Kevin Brown could have just taken his 15M a year and waltzed into the World Series. But no, his love of bad facial hair and his passion for anthropology drove him to give the greatest gift of all: 5 runs in 1 and 1/3 innings.

Tom Gordon, once thought of as a traitor by Red Sox's fans, now revealed his true colors by giving up two runs in 1 and 2/3 innings in that same game.

Mariano Rivera, at 10.8M per year, perhaps the most dominant reliever in playoff history, showed his generosity, and rather than greedily chalking up two more saves, much like the Grinch, his heart grew two sizes and he blew two consecutive saves.

Bernie Williams, 12.4 M, whose hitting in the clutch during the last four games of the series has only been matched by his singing skills as a recording artist.

But let's not focus only on those players on the field. Others made a contribution. Jason Giambi plays for the love of the game, but 12.4M a year would not burden his conscience as he sat on the bench through the entire playoffs. He would not selfishly raise his bat against the Red Sox.

And this team shows deep care for each other. Derek Jeter, 18.6, owes his first golden glove to papa Steinbrenner who bought the best shortstop in the game and put him at third. if that's not love, I don't know what is.

Many of us often put a dollar in the Salvation Army bucket this time of year. The Yankees, God Bless their souls, have donated $ 184.39 Million into the economy, asking for nothing in return, and they got it.

But much like the Pilgrims thanked God for the Indians, and then quickly relocated them to Cleveland, we must all be Thankful for the Yankees, because they provide someone to root against, someone worth beating, much like Sauron in Lord of the Rings, like Darth Vader in Star Wars, like Principal Ed Rooney in Ferris Bueller's Day Off, like Seline Deon on any of her albums, they give us someone to feel good about rooting against.

And for that, I am thankful.