BJR Wedding Newsletter (includes free Honeymoon newsletter)
28 October 2007

Warning:  Once again, a major shortage in the supply of sarcasm prevented the BJR newsletter from being sent out on time, so three newsletters worth of content are crammed into one edition.  And yet, there's still just one low price to read it: Your Pride.

BJR-LMH Wedding Finishes without (Major) Catastrophe

BJR and Lisa Rollins-formerly-Handzus exchanged vows, and are now taxable as a family unit as of May 5, 2007.  In attendance were close family members and a few blackmailing non-desirables.  The minister refused to pronounce us "BJR and LMR" (hereafter referred to as 'The R's').

Costa Rica renamed "Costa Touristica That Costa Too Mucha"

BJR Smart Idea #1: The R's adventure to Costa Rica ("the island that BJR found out is not an island") began with a three (3) hour drive from Hendersonville to Atlanta immediately after the reception.  As a first test of our marriage vows, BJR had to remove the 254 hairpins that were keeping LMR's hair flying in formation.

BJR Smart Idea #2: Just four (4) hours later, the alarm went off and the R's were off to Costa Rica.   Once in Costa Rica ("like Nicaragua, only without the bad memories of an American military fiasco") the 20-seat prop dumped the R's in Tamarindo, and a cab completed the journey to the Hotel Cocodrilo ("The Hotel of No Crocodiles During May").  Tamarindo is a surfer town, so the R's learned how to have a surfboard beat them into submission again and again while a local tried to explain how stoned he was the previous night.   After three (3) days in Tamarindo, the Volcano lured us to Arenal, the active volcano in the region.  Usually, when you have something "active" in a "region," it's time to see the doctor.  Instead, the R's saw Eduardo, the hiking guide, who showed them monkeys and lava rocks and toucans.  Topping off the adventure came horseback riding to zip lines (bruised caboose on high).

BJR Smart Idea #3: A final dinner in La Fortuna (wiped out several times over by volcanoes and floods, how fortunate) introduced BJR to  'La Comida Tipica" which translates directly (or at least within 12 hours to)  "The Local Food Poisoning".

After Party

After a nightmare travel fiasco courtesy of Nature Air and the citizens of Costa Rica ("The people who don't know how to say 'I don't know'), the R's threw a party for a handful of friends in Austin, just five hours after arriving home.  LMR vows revenge on Nature Air and plans to one day start her own regional airline in Costa Rica, except her airplanes will have air-to-air missiles to shoot at Nature Air planes.  She plans to name the airline "Don't Fly Nature Air Or We Will Shoot You Airlines"

Photos from the Wedding (And Free Honeymoon Photos!)

You can now see a set of photos from the wedding here.  LMR is the one in the dress.  The white dress.

Once, twice, three times as painful

The R's have decided that people often introduce strife and pain into their marriage because there is no other outlet for conflict, pain, and insanity.  To focus their need for punishment outside of their marriage, the R's have participated in several triathlons over the Summer and Fall.  The couples triathlon on July 9th taught BJR that there is something more humiliating than being passed by a 51 year old woman: being passed one minute later by a 55 year old woman.  in September, BJR did complete his first Olympic distance triathlon in under 3 hours, and placed first in the category of former Alaskans who publish BJR Newsletters.  The R's finished the season with the Longhorn triathlon in October, accompanied by 30 other folks from "The Current Company".  For an added bonus, BJR's Mom and Sister visited Austin to see the finish of the Longhorn, though it did not appear to make BJR behave any more mature or appropriate during the weekend.

"Le Poulet.  Merci."

The above is the one conversation BJR managed entirely in French during his stay in Paris.  Unfortunately, he said it to a horse.  The R's enjoyed a half-business, half-pleasure jaunt to London, Paris, Oslo, and London.  Highlights included the worst hotel in London, a failed quest for salted fish, the Louvre 5K dash, a Norwegian breakfast (cold cuts!), and learning that the correct answer to anyone in Paris who asks you "Do you speak English?" is "I have a knife and I will stab you."  An amazing dinner at Willi's Wine Bar in Paris, the speed of the Tube, the Rodin Sculpture garden, and Westminster have struck a cord deep in the R's that has not ceased to reverberate.

The Modern Age of Transportation

In an effort to rally support for the practice of engine braking, LMR went through a rigorous nationally accredited course in driving a manual transmission.  The training was administered by close family friend Daniel T. Heller, in order to save the R's marriage and not have BJR yelling "You're killing my baby!").  After completion of the lessons, Dan fled the state and is driving in California for two months while LMR "works out a few of the kinks."

Side Trips!

The R's also hopped to Northern California to pay the yearly respects to the other kidney, to Seattle to meet Isadora, and to Orlando to chill with Carter.  The R's caught a Mariners-Red Sox game, and spent time with a ton of friends who make the R's want to pack their backpacks and set up camp on Whidbey Island.

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