For Whom the BJR Tolls
April 9, 2007
Beware the Ides of BJR! Only recently did BJR learn that the
Ides of March are only one day (March 15th). Who
knew? So when the crazy soothsayer yells to Ceasar,
"Beware the Ides of March," he's saying "Lookout for the
15th!" While that sounds more ominous, "Brutus is gonna kill
you on Wednesday!" would have been more helpful. BJR plans to
celebrate the Ides all the way until the end of April.
Typical celebration of the Ides includes rearranging the Netflix queue
and going to work for 10-12 hours a day. BJR is also celebrating the
Ides by returning to a quarterly schedule for the BJR Newsletter, as
his way of sticking it to the electronic man.
Getting Rid of the Girlfriend
The date has been set! Cinco De Mayo will be a big day for
not only millions of people who love chips and salsa, but for BJR and
Lisa as well. In Hendersonville, North Carolina, Lisa and BJR
will tie the knot in a small family ceremony (clarification: the number
of family members will be small, the size of the family members will be
The date serves also as a great reminder – anytime Corona or
Dos Equis goes on sale, or piñatas begin to multiply, BJR's
wedding anniversary approaches. Potential wedding themes
being considered include "NAFTA: A retrospective" "Loco De Mayo," and
"Rollins v. Handzus – Ultimate Fighting, Family
Style." BJR is registered at The Dollar Store and your local
Shell gas station.
Wedding planning continues around the clock, and more and more details,
decisions, and the most ridiculous of contingencies must be accounted
for: What if the Officiant can't sing anything by James
Brown? How much hummus do the guests expect to be
fed? Can "Something stolen from a cold, blind woman"
substitute for something borrowed? For something blue?
The Martyr Behind
On April 21st, BJR will risk life, limb, and posterior in his fourth
MS150, an amazing ride where 15,000 cyclists will travel 180 miles over
two days from Houston to Austin to raise money for Multiple Sclerosis.
Any donation of any size will automatically renew your subscription to
the BJR Newsletter.
Lisa joins BJR on her inaugural ride, in their first year as members of
Team Taco Deli (Taco Deli is where BJR and friends eat lunch every
Saturday). Lisa secretly hopes BJR will not raise over $3,000
and break his tradition of leg shaving, hair coloring or other
humiliating fund-raising activities.
Donation Link For BJR: http://ms150.org/edon.cfm?id=195254
Donation Link For Lisa: http://ms150.org/edon.cfm?id=191990
No, a Bright Green River is a Good Sign
BJR and Lisa visited Vic in Chicago for St. Patrick's Day weekend, to
be supportive of Vic's Irish Heritage. Vic appears as the
lead in 'Golden Child' ( http://www.srtp.org/newsgold8.html), a drama
about the struggle between tradition, obligation, free will, and
Vic. And yes, Vic says everyone makes the Eddie Murphy
joke. The Windy City's St. Patty's Day parade featured such
wonderful floats as "The Industrial Codpiece Fitters' Union" and "The
Irish Who Haven't Sobered Up From Last St. Patty's Day."
Many fans of the newsletter have requested that BJR start a "blog"
where daily or hourly thoughts of BJR could be posted for public
viewing and subscription. Preposterous! The
Newsletter is an advanced art form, while the "Blog" is an electronic
post-it-note. Did the fans of Tolstoy ask him to write comic
books? Did Van Gogh's non-existent admirers ask for
paint-by-number? Was Men's Figure Skating Gold Medalist Scott
Hamilton asked to tour with "Smuckers' Stars on Ice?" Okay,
the answer to the final question is "Yes", but you get the point.